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At 2010-07-15 11:47:26 (Central Time) someone
wrote:
(Views: 438) Bottom
Parents facing debt, foreclosure, etc. Subby needs advice on what to do/not do. ANONDIT
My mother and stepfather have been married for about 10 years now, and when my stepfather married Mom, he didn't have much to his name from the previous marriage (he gave his ex everything to keep her away). He works in commercial real estate development, so business is either way up or way down. Within a few years of marrying my mother, he was definitely back on his feet. We moved into a bigger house, got new cars...things were looking good.
Then, he decided to start his own development company, and they relocated once I (the youngest sibling) went to college. There is family in the new (well, 2006) area, so that is another draw. My uncle also works for the company, plus a family friend.
Within the past two or three years, things have not gone very well as far as the projects they have, which will generate a several million dollars once they get up and going. That said, the bank and some clients are backing out, leaving everyone in financial hell.
My mom and stepfather have been stressing over money a lot lately, as have many of your parents, I'm sure. Their condo is on the verge of foreclosure, car is in need of big repairs, the boat is messed up, and they pay more in storage than many do in mortgage. They seem to want to keep up appearances, but it's only going to make things so much worse.
My relationship with them has been turbulent, but we're close regardless. Neither of them have said anything to me or my siblings about the foreclosure or the piling debt, and I can understand their reasons for not wanting to worry us. A family member mentioned it in a vent session recently, and I didn't want to pry. I know my uncle's family is already in really hard times, and they have a kid in college, one is a junior in HS and a 9 year old.
I know my current situation (that's another long story) is causing them stress, too, and my mother is trying to start arguments with me, I guess it's her way to cope with the stress. . .finding something tangible at which to be angry. It's just getting to be bothersome.
As a family member on the sidelines of a game they don't know I'm watching, is there anything I can do? I don't have money to my name, but want to help or do something. Part of me wants to mind my own business, but this is my family and it does affect me. Should I go on forgiving my mother's general unpleasantness and acting like I don't know any of this? Should I just wait to see if they say anything to me or my siblings? I wonder if any of you that have been through similar situations may have some input as to how you dealt with it, or maybe how you wish you would have dealt with it.
Thanks in advance.
------- Updated 2010-07-15 12:28:00 ------- As for the boat, they're not going to be able to sell it until it gets fixed.
They downsized to a condo a few years ago, which is why there is so much stuff in storage from the old house. There's lots of family stuff, and I have some space to store things in my own unit, but not much.
I suggested selling the boat when things first got bad, and maybe they're considering it now. But I don't know, as they won't tell me. And from what I can tell, it won't put much of a dent in the debt. Yes, it will help. And I hope they see that.
I would think that bankruptcy would be a way to go, but in their line of work, having decent credit is probably a major thing. A bank won't loan to a company for big projects with any scent of foreclosure or bankruptcy.
Discussion can be found here: http://www.fark.com/cgi/comments.pl?IDLink=5485346
| make me some tea | Quote 2010-07-15 12:00:10 | Have you tried asking your mother or stepfather directly about any of this?
| | Barnacles! | Quote 2010-07-15 12:16:52 | 
| | Barnacles! | Quote 2010-07-15 12:25:40 | 
| | Barnacles! | Quote 2010-07-15 12:27:19 | 
| | yak | Quote 2010-07-21 13:19:11 | If not for Barnacles! (God bless your soul, children, and family for generations to come, you magnificent bastard), this would have been a complete and utter waste of my time.
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